Who we are

Oh thoughts are floating around the lake today, that questioning voice that chatters on and on.
Who am I? That is what ripples to the surface again and again. It is a theme that repeats itself  in the depths where I often swim. Today I also wonder if others have that same question drifting around in their heads.
Once long ago, when the chatter centered around the same question, I wrote my thoughts in a journal. I wish I'd dated the entry, but my best guess is that it was written more than 30 years ago. So that tells you I'm still in search mode when it comes to having an answer.
Anyway, these are the words that surfaced that day.
I am me
I am not someones child
Or someones wife
Or someones friend
I am myself and
That is harder to
be than all the others

When you are someones child
They can tell you who you are
Even a husband can or a friend.
But if you are yourself
Only you can tell

Well I don't know quite where I was going with that and I see I didn't list someones mother, which I certainly was at the time and I still am. I think I've made some progress since those days of thinking that it is hard to be myself. Truth is, that is all we can ever be.
And ever so slowly, the awareness that who I am is far greater than I imagined -- that who we all are is much grander -- is seeping into my consciousness.
Perhaps that is what I'd write today. That the question is not so much who am I? It is am I willing to except that who I am is OK, not just OK but really pretty good. Well maybe on some days, in some quiet peaceful moments when all is right with the world I am open to the idea of accepting.
Gee, I make it hard I think. So for now I'll just be content to be the me that wonders who I am and wait patiently for an answer. Perhaps in 30 more years, I'll have it.